DEAR ABBY: I’m pleasant with a lady who’s great and caring. She calls to ask how I’m doing, drops off espresso to say hello, and so forth. She has an awesome coronary heart and soul. Our boys are shut in age. That’s the issue — I don’t like her kids.
Her children are troublesome they usually run roughshod over her. She is aware of self-discipline is an issue, however she’s at a loss. My kids don’t take pleasure in enjoying with them, both. Her children are careless and don’t hearken to authority. I need to proceed our friendship, however I like her higher with out the youngsters in tow. Ought to I communicate up or fade away? — CONDITIONAL FRIEND
DEAR FRIEND: Your pal’s kids can’t be blamed for issues they had been by no means taught. Inform your pal that when her children go to your own home, you may be establishing some “home guidelines.” In case you do, chances are you’ll be doing that whole household a favor. If her children can not comply, inform her that your kids now not need to play with hers and why. She wants that info earlier than her children develop into social outcasts. In case your friendship together with her fades after that, and I sincerely hope it received’t, then que sera, sera.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve no household and few buddies — no person shut. My live-in girlfriend of two years and I argue continuously. We now not share a bed room, and I really feel extra like a roommate. I truthfully really feel I’m getting used for cash. Her 24-year-old son died from an overdose two months in the past, so I can’t assist however really feel sorry for her. She isn’t working, and I don’t know when she will return.
I don’t have the cash to maneuver. I want I did. I’m depressing, she’s depressing and I really feel caught. I’m 46; she’s 44. I pay lease and 50% of the utilities, which is ok. However how can I ever get out? Transferring isn’t low-cost anymore.
I’m determined for hope that I’m not caught right here ceaselessly. I’m afraid if I transfer — even when I dwell in a tent for now — she is going to quit on every thing. She has two grown children, however she was closest to the one who handed. I really feel responsible for wanting and needing to go away. On the similar time, I’m depressing. She’s in remedy and on drugs. Please advise. — WITHOUT HOPE IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR WITHOUT HOPE: Begin saving no matter cash you’ll be able to and discover choices for different residing preparations, together with renting a single room. Staying the place you might be underneath these circumstances will make you sick should you don’t take management of your life. Your former girlfriend is underneath the care of a health care provider. You’re NOT her lifeline. She’s going to survive.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO MY ASIAN READERS WHO CELEBRATE THE LUNAR NEW YEAR: The Yr of the Rabbit begins at the moment. In Chinese language tradition, the rabbit is thought to be the luckiest of all 12 animals within the zodiac. Individuals born within the Yr of the Rabbit are calm and peaceable. They keep away from preventing and arguing, are inventive and have good style. Nevertheless, they might be insecure and delicate and dislike criticism, which causes them to be averse to alter. I want a cheerful, wholesome new 12 months to all who’re celebrating this vacation. — LOVE, ABBY
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.