My boyfriend’s ex has a son that looks just like him

My boyfriend’s ex has a son that looks just like him

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I met and began courting 10 years in the past. After about 4 years, throughout a really turbulent and poisonous time in our relationship, I came upon I used to be pregnant. Once I informed him, his response was very chilly, and we separated. I terminated the being pregnant, as my life was in shambles and I had no strategy to even carry a baby to time period. 

We reconciled after a yr and now have a cheerful household with our son and one other on the way in which. A girl he had been seeing throughout that point grew to become pregnant, and her son appears equivalent to my boyfriend’s childhood footage. I’ve by no means talked to him about this. However I discover it very painful to assume that someday my youngsters and the kid of the lady will be taught of one another by ancestry testing or another manner. 

Ought to I communicate with him about my suspicion and concern of the ache for our youngsters? Ought to I seek the advice of a therapist to attempt to deal with this concern earlier than addressing him or attempt to transfer previous it by myself? — FEARING THE FUTURE 

DEAR FEARING: Focus on this together with your boyfriend privately, at a time if you end up each calm and relaxed. In case you really feel you want the emotional help of a therapist with a purpose to work up the braveness to do this, by all means accomplish that. Due to DNA testing, the situation about which you’re involved might very nicely occur, so it’s sensible to be ready upfront. However please don’t fear about inflicting your youngsters “ache.” In the event that they aren’t made conscious of the opposite baby, their response is extra more likely to be one among shock. As a result of DNA “reunions” have gotten extra widespread, it’s much less of a scandal than it was years in the past.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has horrible oral hygiene. He brushes his tooth at evening earlier than going to mattress however received’t brush them within the morning. It’s disgusting. A few yr in the past, he chipped a entrance tooth. I’ve requested him time and again to please get it taken care of. My requests are being ignored. The harm has now grow to be a lot worse and it’s actually noticeable. It doesn’t hassle him. 

Good tooth have all the time been vital to me. When I attempt to discuss to him about it, he walks away. It’s to the purpose that I not need to go anyplace with him as a result of it’s embarrassing. Now we have an occasion to go to quickly and I’m dreading it. 

This may increasingly appear trivial, however I see the dentist frequently and he hasn’t gone in years. It isn’t the cash; he has no drawback spending cash on his toys. Please inform me find out how to deal with this. It’s inflicting some main points between us. Am I asking for an excessive amount of? — EMBARRASSED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Individuals generally let their dental well being lapse as a result of they don’t see what others do after they communicate or smile. Your husband might have a concern of dentists, or assume you might be nagging him for the pleasure of it. If his broken tooth is ignored for much longer, he might wind up shedding it. 

You may have the ability to get your level throughout when you movie him together with your cellphone whereas he’s talking, laughing, and many others., and present him what you and others have been seeing. (If that doesn’t assist, recommend that due to the upsurge in COVID variants, he put on a masks to the occasion.)

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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