DEAR ABBY: I went to varsity in France. It was my lifelong dream to maneuver right here and begin my very own life on this lovely nation. I succeeded. I married and had a baby, however the marriage didn’t work out. My son, who’s now 8, has spent his complete life right here. He suits in. He’s standard. Nonetheless, as a single working mom in a overseas land, I don’t.
I’ve mastered the French language. I can have an mental dialog in French, and I even make jokes in French. I perceive it’s a special tradition. I’ve had many alternative roles as a bilingual assistant in numerous sectors, akin to actual property, digital transformation, structure and inside design.
I depend myself blessed to all the time have the ability to discover work, however the ladies right here simply don’t like me. I’m blond and put on make-up, and my presence appears to threaten and anger them regardless of the place I am going. There are all the time one or two good colleagues, however there’s additionally a mass vibe of hostility. I can’t go away as a result of I can’t take my son away from his father. Recommendation? — LEFT OUT IN PARIS
DEAR LEFT OUT: Please permit me to supply my sympathy. What you might be experiencing is hurtful. However it occurs all over the place, not simply in Paris.
You wrote that wherever you might be working, there are all the time one or two good colleagues. Focus on them and the work you might be assigned to do and, though it is probably not straightforward, ignore the rudeness of the others. You aren’t there to socialize. Since you really feel iced out socially, attempt to join with different expatriates who’re in all probability feeling the best way you do. It’s extra productive than licking your wounds alone.
Sooner or later, your son might be sufficiently old to be on his personal, and also you could possibly relocate to part of France (or Europe) the place the persons are heat and welcoming. Hold your contacts shut again residence, since you could possibly relocate to the States if you want. Within the meantime, keep occupied. If you happen to do, it gives you much less time to be depressed.
DEAR ABBY: When attending a marriage, do you suppose it’s impolite for the friends to put up images of the bride and groom on social media asserting the brand new couple earlier than the couple have an opportunity to put up? It might be like another person asserting the start of your child. I believe the couple must be the primary to put up any images of themselves and announce their marriage. What do you suppose? — PROPER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR PROPER: I believe you’re appropriate. Nonetheless, so many individuals put up in regards to the actions through which they take part, it isn’t stunning that friends would enthusiastically share their pleasure by placing these footage on-line. If the bride and groom wish to preserve it from taking place, they need to specify that they need no images taken throughout the wedding ceremony or the reception (after which cross their fingers). Visitors who plan to take footage ought to make sure to ask the couple earlier than posting them.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.