DEAR ABBY: I’m having an enormous drawback with my boyfriend. We had a child 5 months in the past, and since then he has modified drastically. He beforehand had an issue with habit, however had a deal with on it. He advised me the child was highly effective motivation. My being pregnant was blissful, and he was attentive and caring.
I do know infants are irritating, and ours had colic, so we had many nights full of screaming. I do a lot of the work with the child. I give up my job to be a stay-at-home mother and nurse him. The one time my boyfriend takes care of the child is for me to take a bathe. He has been ingesting each evening and now he’s doing marijuana as nicely. He’s fairly humorous when he’s excessive, however I don’t belief him to handle our son when he’s that means. He’s additionally hooked on his cellphone.
When I attempt to inform him how I really feel, he will get defensive. He accuses me of “making an attempt to begin issues.” He additionally lies about his addictions. I solely not too long ago came upon about a few of his lies, and now I’m having a tough time believing something he says. This isn’t how I wished my life to be. This isn’t what I wished for our child. I’m making an attempt to determine whether or not it’s higher to place up with it or depart. I’d must get a job and discover youngster care. The considered my son in daycare makes me sick, however so does being handled this fashion. Please advise me. — TROUBLED NEW MOM
DEAR MOM: Face it. Your boyfriend has backslid, and you’ll now not belief him to be truthful with you. Your issues won’t ever be resolved if they’ll’t be mentioned with out rivalry. Begin in search of dependable daycare for the child and for a job. In the event you do, you should have a head begin on the inevitable. In the event you and this man separate, he shall be legally liable for contributing to his son’s help. It could even be the “jolt” he must get straight once more.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a queer lady who has a crush on a lady. “Gwen” is variety, outgoing and really clever. The poetry she writes is sensible and typically soul-crushing. We’re shut pals and bonded over our writing. My spouse and I’ve talked overtly about my emotions for this lady, and my spouse understands why I like her.
The issue is, Gwen is heterosexual. She has stated, partly in jest, that it’s “oppressive” that she’s straight. With out going into an excessive amount of element, she has had a foul time with previous relationships and is presently single.
I’m sure and decided to nip this crush within the bud. I really feel telling Gwen about it will be unethical. I do know for sure that she’s straight, however my mind refuses to shake this “feeling.” I’m terrified that it’ll smash our friendship. What do I do? — CRUSHING IN INDIANA
DEAR CRUSHING: Do the identical factor that different mature married individuals do. Step again from one thing that would threaten not solely your relationship with Gwen but in addition your marriage. Whether or not Gwen finds her heterosexuality to be “oppressive” (stated in jest) or is bi-curious shouldn’t have an effect on your inventive relationship together with her. In the event you really feel you can not management your feelings, take a step again and see her much less usually, if in any respect.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.